PHILADELPHIA - Yesterday, I was flying to Philadelphia and reading the latest issue of "Success" magazine on the plane (Dec '08).
Several different, unrelated articles caught my eye, primarily because of a common thread running through each one. The magazine issue itself did not have a theme, per se, but I spotted one. It lunged at me. Jumped off the page.
See if you can nail it in these five stories. The same critically important "leader skill" is embedded in each one.
And you need to have it.
First...
Steven Spielberg's creative genius got an early start. When he was just a kid, he created little stories as he filmed family trips, pets and friends.
To encourage him, his parents brought home a projector, rented movies and showed them to neighborhood kids on summer evenings. Enterprising young Steven charged each kid 25 cents admission, and he donated all the money to charity.
This launched his movie career.
At 13, he created a 40-minute film, "Escape To Nowhere". At 16, a 140-minute sci-fi adventure, "Firelight". And when he was a Boy Scout, he borrowed his dad's 8mm camera and made a 9-minute film called "The Last Gunfight", to earn his photography merit badge.
Second...
TV cook Rachel Ray was shocked the day The Food Network handed her a $360,000 contract -- barely 24 hours after she did a brief food segment on the "Today" show.
And she's done very well since, parlaying that into broadcast stardom and guest shots on TV shows all over the dial.
All the while proclaiming she's a good cook, but not a chef, and has no formal culinary training.
She never BS'd the network, nor her audience. Her "everyman" quality, frankly, is just what the TV execs were looking for, and she hit a grand slam with viewers.
Where'd she get that honest streak? From her mother and mentor, who taught her "Decide who you are and don't try to pretend that you're something other than that."
Third...
Advertising mogul and host of TV's hit show "The Big Idea", Donny Deutsch tells of a talent producer for his show who had a dream of starting an image consulting business, but was befuddled on where to start.
Rather than kick her butt out the door for announcing she'd rather be doing something else, he helped her instead. Advised her to take the next 10 weeks to shop for 10 different friends...for free... all so she could build a portfolio of satisfied clients. Then beginning with #11, start charging. A lot.
Twelve months later, she left to start her own company. Deutsch's farewell gift? A segment on his show that rocket-launched her business.
Next...
Mitch Albom, sportswriter for the Detroit Free Press and weekly contributor to ESPN-TV's "The Sports Reporters", has written three books.
Each became a worldwide best-seller. Each got made into a TV movie.
And each one is about his mentors.
He wrote "Tuesdays With Morrie" about Brandeis University sociology professor Morrie Schwartz.
"The Five People You Meet In Heaven" included the protagonist, his Uncle Eddie.
And "For One More Day", his own mom served as the inspiration for the mother character. His two most profound mentors, he says, were his mom and dad.
And finally...
NFL football star Warrick Dunn is considered one of the most charitable athletes in professional sports. He buys homes for single mothers working multiple jobs -- and to date, he has put a roof over the heads of 78 single parents and 205 children.
Wow. That'll activate the tear ducts.
He says none of his sports accomplishments can match the feeling of giving the keys to a home to a woman who has worked her whole life and never been able to afford one.
His inspiration?
His own mom, a Baton Rouge police corporal, who was shot and killed in an ambush while working a second job as a security guard -- leaving Warrick, the oldest at 18, to become man of the house to five younger brothers and sisters. His mother's humble soul and proud spirit guided him in her absence.
She never owned a home. Could never afford the down payment.
He's now fixing that for women just like her.
There. That's all five.
Did you spot it?
Did you see the common thread running through the lives of those five leaders?
It's mentorship.
It's a leader helping someone less skilled, less able, more junior, more unsure. To find her way. To fulfill his dream. To deal with the difficulties of life. Guiding. Teaching. Encouraging. Caring. Setting the table for success. And providing a sympathetic shoulder when plans go south.
Spielberg, Ray, Albom and Dunn each had mentors. And enjoyed the benefit of aid and counsel from a master.
And Deutsch is a mentor. He dramatically improved the life of a colleague. In fact, his TV show has mentorship as its underpinning -- sharing stories of success that encourage others to break the shackles of their own lethargy.
It doesn't get any more personal than mentorship.
It's one-on-one, baby.
I contend that, in all my years on this planet, my greatest personal growth and development, in business and life, has come -- not from books or CDs. Not from seminars or workshops. Not from listening to speeches, sitting in training classes, or attending webinars.
Oh, make no mistake, I'm a high-volume student and user of all those. Have been for 30+ years. And every one has provided me an unending wealth of knowledge, inspiration, and actionable data.
But my greatest leaps in learning...
- have come from one-on-one mentorship...
- by a trusted leader, friend, colleague, coach, or relative...
- in private conversation.
That's where the gold is.
How about you? Take a look at your own life. I'm sure you can point to one or two people who have blessed you with their love, encouragement, and caring guidance.
But let's shift gears to something even more important.
LESSONS & ACTIONS FOR YOU:
What are you doing to actively mentor others?
To inspire their self confidence. To help them identify and live their dreams. To launch them into action. To be their rock of Gibraltar when they stumble and fall.
There are few gifts so precious you can give another. And as a leader, frankly, it's not just a nice thing to do.
It's your obligation.
It comes with the territory of leadership. In my world, if you're not mentoring, you're not leading.
Here are seven suggestions for effective mentoring:
(1) Listen more than you speak. Listen for where the pain is. Listen for where the dreams are. It'll help you make it all about them, not about you. Listening builds trust, and you can't be a successful coach without it.
(2) Emphathize. When your mentee has a setback, it's helpful to share a story of when you faced a similar experience. And how you rebounded. When we hear that our heroes have failed too, it serves as inspiration to get back on the horse and ride again.
(3) Help them find their passions. Not just what they're good at, but what electrifies them with excitement. Lots of people have a talent, but don't enjoy it. You can help them two ways. Find what REALLY turns them on. Or realize the passion they already have for what they do, but just didn't see it. Hold up the mirror.
(4) Show tough love when it's called for. Good coaching requires delivering bad news, too. Holding firm boundaries. Pushing them into uncomfortable terrain. Saying what needs to be said to move them past their roadblocks. Taking the risk they won't come back.
(5) Lead by example. If you recommend one thing, but do another yourself, you're done. Credibility shot. Game over. Walk your own talk. That's the definition of integrity.
(6) Formalize it. Schedule regular time to be with your mentee(s). Don't let it happen by chance -- it won't. We're all too busy. Schedule consistent, regular time each day or week or month. Block it on your calendar. Treat it as one of the most important meetings you'll have. I recommend all leaders have coaching meetings -- not less than monthly -- with each direct report one-on-one. Unplug the phone, take no emails, allow no interruptions.
(7) Make them write it down. Their passions, their values, their goals, their actions, their deadlines. All of it. Don't accept the flimsy "It's okay, I'll remember it" excuse. That's BS. Winners write down their plans and commitments -- it shows laser-focused intent. I've told clients for years "If you don't write it down, you're just screwing with yourself. Get serious, commit it to paper, or let's move on and talk about something that IS important to you."
Like all tasks worth doing, mentorship -- done right -- involves a disciplined, structured process. It ain't happenstance.
Put that structure in place for those YOU mentor. Your employees. Fellow team members. Friends. Children.
Yes, leadership from a distance has value. But limited.
Have the guts to get up close and personal.
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Rick Houcek is a regular contributor to MarketingHeadhunter.com. Rick facilitates off-site strategic planning retreats, helping CEOs and Leadership Teams create high-impact plans that overcome the crippling effects of lousy execution and get successfully implemented. His Power Planning strategic process drives action through his Escape-Proof Accountability system. It's ideal for small and mid-size businesses. To bring this potent weapon to your team, contact Rick by phone, fax or email. Visit his web site at Soar with Eagles.com. Ask about his 100% No-Risk Guarantee.
Helping others reach their dreams can be very satisfying. I still remember all the people who pushed me, mentored me and helped me achieve my dreams and goals. They may not realize the impact they have had on my life, but I know and thank them everyday.
Great Post.
Posted by: ExecutiveSearchFirm | 2008.11.18 at 17:10
Wow, what a powerful post. Helping others find their passions enables great things to happen in and for this world. Sadly, many business leaders try to "go it alone" and isolate themselves rather than seeking help along the way. I hope more people discover this powerful secret for great development.
Posted by: Randy Street | 2008.11.14 at 10:12