ATLANTA, GA - Okay, get ready to take some notes. Following is one of the best cover letters / emails I have ever received. Check it out and I'll explain why ...
I read your interesting blog [1] recently and thought to contact you.
I am new to Atlanta and champing at the bit [2] to join an organization and prove my mettle [3]; however, I need help [4] obtaining a position. Do you think that you could help me [5], given my background [6]? Please take a look at my resume and let me know. If so, I am happy to pay a bonus commission for successful placement [7]. If not, I would appreciate it if you kindly suggested a colleague or agency that is more appropriate for me [8].
You can reach me at dan.metcaff@harvard.edu or on my mobile number, 617-9X9-1X91 [9].
Thank you in advance for your consideration.
Best regards,
Dan Metcaff
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First off, my love of this candidate has NOTHING to do with his degree from Harvard. Sure, Harvard is an awesome school if you can afford it, but America has more than a million millionaires, and only a small percentage of them went to Harvard. This guy is HUNGRY, and they don't teach that in the Ivy League. Dan was hungry before he got to Harvard. Beyond that, ...
Here are ten reasons why Dan's cover letter rocks:
- He read my blog. This isn't about my ego. It's about one-to-one marketing. I get loads of email from people saying they've read my blog, but it's clear from their email that they only glanced at it long enough to scrape my email address. Dan knows I'm in Atlanta. Clearly, this correspondence is personal.
- Great choice of words. I read a ton of email, and I love it when people take chances with their communication. "Champing at the bit" is a great idiomatic expression that I don't hear every day. Good call, Dan!
- Not only is "prove my mettle" an awesome expression, it tells me that this guy is a do-er. No sense of entitlement whatsoever. Lookit: I run a business. I know how critical do-ers are to the success of every business. Dan doesn't bore me with desires of "applying his strategic skills" or any of that crap. All in good time. For now, this cat's ready to roll up his sleeves if given an excellent ground-floor opportunity.
- I love it when people just admit right up front that they need help. Shows humility.
- Not only does Dan know he needs help, but he is asking me very politely ...
- ... and he is providing evidence as to why my doing so would be credible in the eyes of my peers. This is no baseless favor he's requesting.
- Beyond that, Dan's willing to put some skin in the game. Candidates, please know that candidates NEVER (re-read that) need to pay me. All of my fees are paid by my clients. Period. But I love the idea that he is willing to put his money where his mouth is. That shows self confidence and a streak of entrepreneurship.
- Ask for referrals. Always. Always. Always. Who knows? Maybe some recruiter will blog about you. And perhaps other recruiters will Tweet about that recruiter's blog post. Or maybe the first recruiter's post will make the homepage of StumbleUpon and be viewed by more than ten thousand people. You'll be famous! Hey, stranger things have happened.
- Dan gives me not one, but two ways to reach him. You'd be surprised. Not every candidate does this. Dumb.
- The fact that Dan put this footer in his email shows he knows a thing or two about proper form. Believe me, one can take all manner of license with the English language if it's evident from one's form and sentence structure that one knows about them in the first place. Like, duh! It's the difference between knowing the tricks of one's trade and knowing one's trade.
I realize that some folks will read this blog post and wonder how slow my day must have been to bring this up. Actually, my day was very busy. However, unless your resume is just brimming with relevant work experience (Dan's isn't) -- then you'd better learn to politely differentiate yourself in a brief, cogent cover letter.
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