Humility: The Core of Servant Leadership

As a marketing recruiter, not a week goes by that I don't get a call from a VP of HR looking for a VP of Marketing who is a "servant leader."  Servant leadership seems to be all the rage these days.  Every company wants servant leaders, but few seem to know much about servant leadership.  They talk the talk, but walking the walk is much harder.  That's because ...

Servant leadership is based on humility.

Most people, if they really knew anything about humility, wouldn't like it.  That's why so few people are humble.  Humility involves dying to oneself -- sacrificing oneself to a higher good or yielding to legitimate authority.  Quite often it means doing what you don't want to do.  Sometimes it means going down with the ship so that others may live.  And always, it means killing the egotistical, self-centered person inside all of us who wants to be comforted, petted and admired.

Humility is a Godly thing.

For authentic servant leaders, everyone has dignity.  Everyone is a child of God.  Everyone is the best in the world at something.  Everyone deserves respect.  Everyone deserves to be elevated.  Everyone deserves to be perfected, and servant leaders perfect those around them by investing in everyone and setting a benchmark example.  They walk the talk -- and inspire others to raise their game.  That's why they're so sought after.

But here's the paradox of humility:  If you think you have it, you don't.  Imagine someone bragging about how humble they are.  That's an oxymoron, isn't it?  You can never be too humble.

I'm not talking about the "awe-shucks" false modesty that most of us have.  I'm talking about putting others first always.  That is antithetical to our secular, me first, zero-sum, he who dies with the most toys wins society.  True humility is counter-cultural, which is why it's so rare.  In fact, if you want to be a truly counter-cultural rebel, then rebel against your own vanity.  Master yourself.

Now, I can't tell you how to gain humility.  Usually one has to fail (and fail spectacularly) before one discovers how much one needs others.  But barring that, here are some signs that you lack humility:

• Thinking that what you do or say is better than what others do or say.
• Always wanting to get your own way.
• Arguing when you are not right (or when you are right, insisting stubbornly or with bad manners).
• Giving your opinion without being asked for it (when charity does not demand you to do so).
• Despising the point of view of others.
• Not being aware that all of the gifts that you have are on loan from God.
• Mentioning yourself as an example in conversation.
• Speaking badly about yourself so that others may form a good opinion of you or contradict you.
• Making excuses when rebuked.
• Hiding your faults from others so that they may not lose a good opinion of you.
• Being hurt that others are held in greater esteem than you.
• Refusing to carry out menial tasks.
• Being ashamed of not having certain possessions.

I could go on but I won't.  You get the idea.  Zig Zigler has long said that you can have anything you want in life as long as you make sure that others get what they want first.  That's a hard truth to recognize -- and an even harder truth to live.

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Comments

[Jennifer McLean]

What an amazing post. It is so refreshing to hear about character in the same breath as marketing. I think this type of leadership is the essential ingredient required for marketers to gain the respect and the leadership support needed to drive new levels of business strategy based on marketing-driven principles. I posted something about this just today.

In fact there are internal workshop programs that can actually enhance the leadership skills of a servant leadership positioned under the guise of marketing. One program I have used generates the right mindset to create new levels of brand positioning and marketing in a more organic (less linear) model.

[Marketing Recruiter]

Wow. Great story. For Jim Donald, that might have been such a little thing. But to to you and your wife, it was understandably huge. One can only imagine what Starbucks' culture must be like if that guy's imprint is on it.

Thanks for sharing,
Harry

[Jason Warner]

Harry,

As a long time recruiting guy I've spent my career assessing talent, and I believe that as leaders grow, success in larger and more demanding roles becomes mostly about one's character. It becomes a state of being, and cannot be feigned. When I ran a big chunk of Starbuck's Recruiting engine recently, we studied Servant Leadership and built much of our developmental programs on those same principles. It's a fascinating topic, and one can definitely attach skills and tactics to the philosophy to drive results, but I would submit that in the end, a leader's true character shines through and that's what drives the most impact on one's people and consequently business results. As such, as people strive to be better leaders, they must first look inwards to determine their character, and begin the process from there. I've posted similar threads on my blog. Great post. Refreshing, actually.

The big things matter, but the small things matter just as much when it comes to leader, and that's when character shows through: how one responds to the small opportunities to authentically lead one's team has a huge and far reaching impact. An anecdote to illustrate: When my wife and I had our second child 16 months ago, I came home from running an errand and my wife says, "Some guy from Starbucks called to congratulate us on Ryan's arrival" and then she played the message. The message went something like this, "Hello Warners, my name is Jim Donald, and I heard that you guys had some great news, and I wanted to personally call and congratulate you on the new addition to your family. Now, Mrs. Warner, we've never met, but I want to tell you that Jason needs to take some time off to be with his family, so don't let him come back to work too soon, and if there's anything I can do to help you guys, let me know."

My wife must have played that message 30 times over the next 3 months; pretty much any time we had visitors.

Why? Because Jim Donald is Starbuck's President and CEO.

[Chris Kieff]

We have an interesting controversy brewing on our site with a lively dialog regarding Clear Channel removing a billboard advertisement we had placed. We are interested in your opinion if you can find the time to visit: www.msco.com/blog/mark-stevens-vs-warren-buffet
Thanks,
Chris Kieff, Editor Unconventional Thinking

[Steve Roesler]

Thanks for taking time to do this post, Harry. And Paul's questions are good ones whose answers could provide you with blog material for more than a few days!

Frankly, I was pleasantly surprised to see the topic of Servant Leadership sell so well in the business community.

However, many seek the quick-fix or the business equivalent of a magical pill to grow their companies and careers. Servant Leadership is a "heart" issue which, when lived out, gives one the appearance of being weak in a sea of sharks. So when there isn't an instant turnaround in numbers--or someone doesn't appear "aggressive enough" in the competitive arena--another fad du jour is sought.

It sounds as if you and your clients are deeply aligned and committed to the principle; that would lead me to believe that your searches and screening process include the wisdom and discernment needed to find a good match.

Keep up the fine work.

[Paul]

Profound, hard-to-swallow, but absolutely true. I'm frankly surprised to see such strongly unequivocal discussion of true humility and servant leadership posted in a blog by a recruiter for marketers.

We all have egos, and to some extent, I believe that ego strength is a necessary component of leadership. But, that is so often at odds with the notion of servant leadership.

I'm curious how you, as a recruiter, square the desire of your clients for servant leaders with the reality that almost none approach this definition. Do you tell them it isn't possible? Do you search for the best approximation? If the latter, how do you judge when you've found it?

Excellent writing as usual Harry. Thanks.

[Eric Joiner]

I posted a quote of the week on logistics recruiter.com by Paul "Bear" Bryant that reads.

“If anything goes bad, I did it. If anything goes semi-good, then we did it. If anything goes real good, then you did it. That's all it takes to get people to win football games.”

Bryant wasnt humble, but I think the jist of the message fits your excellent post. It also uniquely characterizes what it takes to have a good marriage.