Kung fu ...
That was one of my good ones
Well what's a few broken bones
When we all know it's good clean fun?
Skateboards ...
I've almost made them respectable.
You see I can't always get through to you,
So I go for your son.
- Joe Jackson, "I'm the Man"
I have pointed out on these pages that the average US citizen gets hit with more than 5000 commercial messages a day. Everything from "I'd rather be driving a Titleist" to the logo on your watch. Your brain is under constant assault. You know it. We all know it. We are marinating in marketing all the time.
And as the guys over at YourMarketingSucks.com know, my wife and I run a pretty tight ship when it comes to what our four kids can watch on TV. Look, I'm not a bad guy. I love marketing, but I know how effective it can be. And what marketers are doing to kids today isn't much different than what the spy-ware companies try to do with your computer.
My kids need things, and I want to buy them things. The latest things, in fact. But there's a limit to what's productive for them to want. My 8 year old girl is chomping at the bit to be the next Hillary Duff. However, I'm not gonna buy her thigh-high boots no matter who she sees wearing them. Call me Tipper Gore if you want.
Hollywood sees it differently.
Several weeks ago, the makers of the new blockbuster movie, Spiderman 3, started running trailers on Cartoon Network. Naturally, the trailers looked really cool to all of my kids, age 11, 8, and 5 (twins). Normally, Cartoon Network is pretty innocuous. What's not to like about cartoons, right?
So the trailers run and say "This movie is not yet rated." And I'm thinking "Right. It's a $50 million dollar movie coming out in 14 days and they don't know what it's going to be rated? My eye." Meanwhile, my kids are getting amped about seeing Spiderman 3, even going so far as to plan out when I'm going to take them.
Finally, this afternoon a Spiderman 3 "sneak-a-peek" airs on Cartoon Network, immediately followed by a showing of Spiderman 1. My kids have got the popcorn and Sprite all teed up in the rec room, and they're rubbing their little hands, w a i t i n g ... Then the bomb drops when the announcer says
"Spiderman 3 and 1 are rated PG-13."
Now I've got a fight on my hands. Only Jack, my 11 year old is OK'd to watch PG-13 flicks, and then only selectively. He's 11. He doesn't need to watch graphic gun-fights and make-out scenes and the usual PG-13 fare. Soon, but not now. And I'll be damned if my 8 year old girl is going to soak in that -- let alone my twins. But when I broke up the party, you'd have thought I was Osama Bin Laden. All hell broke loose, and you could hear the uproar a mile away.
As a marketer, I'm impressed with what Hollywood did. If they had said from the get-go that Spiderman 3 was going to be rated PG-13, then things never would have gotten so far out of hand. I would have red-lighted Project Spiderman immediately for everyone but Jack. Hollywood knew that, so they kept a lid on the rating until my all of my kids were literally screaming to see the movie. Literally. Screaming. Now that's marketing.
The New Economics of the Entertainment Business
My kids get me and their grandparents to buy them a lot of entertainment -- and neither me, their grandparents, nor my kids are inclined to download it illegally off of the web.
Which is exactly why young kids are such a hot market for media companies: They or someone who loves them actually pays for what they consume. Miracle of miracles! According to a recent WSJ article, this explains why Hannah Montana is one of Disney's most profitable entertainment franchises. There's a "near zero" piracy factor among very old and very young people.
So here's what I've learned from this episode ...
Hollywood is like a drug dealer. They know who watches Cartoon Network. Little kids who are too young to attend their movie without my accompaniment -- which is tantamount to my endorsement.
Hollywood knows that if they give my kids a free taste of their stuff, my kids will come back for more -- at my expense (which makes it better than the "real" illegal drug business, where the addict pays). And like a real drug dealer, Hollywood doesn't care how their product effects my kids as long as they make money.
What do YOU think?
